You know how when you're little, and you spend every moment possible with your "BFF"? You are completely incapable of imagining your life minus them. You imagine that in the future, you and that best friend will still be doing everything together. So you buy those classy "best" and "friends" necklaces and wear them all of the time. You beg for sleepovers, play truth or dare even though you very well know that neither of you will pick dare. You learn everything about each other and share every pointless detail of your lives. You wholeheartedly believe in the "forever" that comes after the "best friends". I, of course, was not exempt from this. I had a whole handful of those necklaces, countless games of "truth or truth", and plenty begging for sleepover experience. I remember thinking that nothing would ever change. It always does, though. Nothing on this earth stays the same...
For me, forever when it comes to people has never proven to be very long. I seem to be very easily replaced by others. I can never figure out if I do something wrong or if I've just stayed them same while others have changed. Either way, every time I get replaced by yet another person, it hurts. It makes me feel like I'm just not good enough. I've tried to come to another conclusion, but can't seem to come to one that doesn't involve something being wrong with me. It has been a big struggle for me for years. I end up wearing myself out trying so hard to make people see that I'm worth their time.
The only way I make it sometimes is because I know that there is one forever that I can count on. The forever that God has promised me is just that. Eternal. He will be there ALWAYS. Whether things in my life are good or bad, He's there. He is my comfort when I'm feeling forgotten or left behind. I don't have to wear myself out trying to get Him to want to be around, He just is. I don't have to convince God that I'm worth His time. If I wasn't worth something to Him, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I am so thankful that His love is eternal, never failing, never changing, and healing. I am blessed by the thought that in God's eyes, I could never be replaced by anyone. He sees me as special even if my peers don't, and that should be all that matters to me. He made me in His image, and I am beautiful.
" I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." ~ Psalm 16:8-11
Also! Just thought I should mention, I'm not fishing for sympathy here! Just some thoughts today.
For me, forever when it comes to people has never proven to be very long. I seem to be very easily replaced by others. I can never figure out if I do something wrong or if I've just stayed them same while others have changed. Either way, every time I get replaced by yet another person, it hurts. It makes me feel like I'm just not good enough. I've tried to come to another conclusion, but can't seem to come to one that doesn't involve something being wrong with me. It has been a big struggle for me for years. I end up wearing myself out trying so hard to make people see that I'm worth their time.
The only way I make it sometimes is because I know that there is one forever that I can count on. The forever that God has promised me is just that. Eternal. He will be there ALWAYS. Whether things in my life are good or bad, He's there. He is my comfort when I'm feeling forgotten or left behind. I don't have to wear myself out trying to get Him to want to be around, He just is. I don't have to convince God that I'm worth His time. If I wasn't worth something to Him, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I am so thankful that His love is eternal, never failing, never changing, and healing. I am blessed by the thought that in God's eyes, I could never be replaced by anyone. He sees me as special even if my peers don't, and that should be all that matters to me. He made me in His image, and I am beautiful.
" I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." ~ Psalm 16:8-11
Also! Just thought I should mention, I'm not fishing for sympathy here! Just some thoughts today.
You've made me miss my BFF from when I was a kid and teen, Joyce Ann. We don't ever hang out any more!
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