While Listening to Revive...

      While listening to the band Revive (an amazing Christian band that I highly recommend.) tonight, I was flooded with about a million memories, good and bad. This band in particular brings up so much in me because they played at the youth camp that I went to two summers ago.
      The summer of 2010 was when God shook me and turned everything I knew upside down. Two years later I'll finally admit it- Instead of depending on God to take care of me and going to Him first, my friends became my life. When something good happened to me I called and texted but didn't even stop to thank God for whatever it was. I didn't walk away from God completely, though. I still read my Bible and prayed and did a devotion, but when I was going about my day, I let other things be put in priority. I got too comfortable I guess. Making things worse, I have the attention span of a squirrel and can only focus on one thing at a time, so when I was hanging out with one or two friends, I let others fall through the cracks and I definitely regret it.
     Anyways, I arrived at camp with my youth group after twelve hours in a van with a bunch of sweaty guys and giggling girls. (Myself included in that last one...) Excited for the week ahead, we prepared for "celebration" where we would meet our band and pastor for the week. From the first time Revive went on the stage, I knew it was going to be an amazing week. I didn't know the words to all of their songs that first day so I just listened for the most part. Seeing those words on the screen made me think. At that point, I couldn't sing those songs honestly. Have you ever noticed how when your at church and your singing along with others and the songs seem to just blend together? You don't think about it, you're just singing because everyone else is and that's what you're supposed to be doing? Mean what you say, even if it's the lyrics to a song. If you don't mean them, don't sing them.
     That week went by so quickly and the whole time, I saw myself slipping away from several people that I didn't exactly want to slip away from. Camp reignited my fire for Christ and it hasn't dulled since. We went back home, twelve more hours, and it was over. That whole life being turned upside down thing I mentioned, though? Yeah, that had just begun. A close friend and I were drifting. Trying to stop that drifting brought about petty bickering that I hate happened. I let stupid things get to me and my frustration kept building up inside of me until I finally laid it all out on the table, we resolved our issues and everything seemed okay. I let it go and attempted to move on with my life but without my noticing, we just drifted apart anyways. Like I said, I was comfortable and didn't want anything to change, so when I finally realized that 'we' would never be the same, I fell apart. That is when I really saw God move in my life. God held me together. God showed me that all I really need is Him. God showed me how stupid I had been being.
      God truly does work in mysterious ways. He saw that the only way to get through to me was to take me out of my comfort zone. God let me fall knowing that when we are on our knees, we are in the perfect position to pray.
    " I know it's always such an uphill battle. Feels like you're winning then you're gonna lose again and everyday you're going round in circles. I know how you're feeling, I've been there before. You wanna run, you can't take much more, I'm here to help you see, it's your eternity and it's worth the struggle. Don't give up the fight. It's a war and you have to stand your ground tonight 'cuz I don't wanna lose you. It's your life and it matters. Be careful what you're chasing after. I know you're cynical, and it seems impossible. You think you'll never find the strength you're lacking. I know you're feeling like your on your own, but I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. Don't give up the fight, 'cuz I don't wanna lose you" Don't Give Up the Fight- Revive



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