Last night, driving home with my Papaw from my brother's nineteenth birthday dinner, I was hit with how quickly time has passed. I told my grandpa how I just can't believe that my brother in turning nineteen in just a few days, and that in less than three months, I'll be sixteen. I'm not sure I want to be sixteen! People have always assumed that I wish I was older because most teens do, but I really don't. Honestly, I have days quite often where I wish I was five again and the hardest choices I had to make were what crayon color to use and what kind of sandwich I wanted for lunch. I miss the days of playing "Ring Brother Sister" and skipping pillows to avoid lava to pass the time. When the closest I got to driving was sitting in my daddy's lap and turning the wheel of our mower. When the only world I knew was my family and everything was a familiar, comfortable routine and everything was taken care of for me without my even realizing. When the biggest drama among my friends was that one of us got a bigger piece of cake.
Growing up is scary. My friends and I are reaching that point where we have to think into our futures before we make any decisions. Our lives are becoming more our own. We aren't completely dependent on the people around us anymore. We have to learn how to fight our own battles, figure out our weaknesses and work on them so that we are ready for this world, and learn how to face the adversity that will inevitably come our way because of our faith.
While thinking of all of this and freaking myself out and wondering if I'm ready to 'be a big girl', my Papaw gave me the only answer that could have given me peace at that moment... He began by quoting James 4:14: "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." He went on to remind me that God is not bound by time. As humans, time is all we know. We think of life as a series of moments and are always wondering what will be happening at this time or that time. As Christians, however, being in Christ frees us from time. What school we go to, what job we have, how little or much trouble we have on this earth... It just doesn't matter. All that should matter is that we are doing all of it for God and in the way that He wants us to!
Today I am choosing not to worry about what trials tomorrow might hold. I am simply choosing to accept the peace that comes with the knowledge that my life on this earth is temporary. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God, He has given me everything and I am going to spend my entire life doing everything I can to repay Him, even though I know that is impossible. Every day I am going to try my hardest to ignore the things that have brought me down or made me angry in the past. Because my life here is a vapor, I'm not going to sit back and let it go to waste. I don't know what tomorrow will hold, so I don't want to leave things unsaid. I don't want to spend my life angry or worrying. I am in God's hand, I am free from time, this is not my home, so why should it matter if things don't always go the way I want them to? Eternity is what I'm looking to, not tomorrow. Growing up is scary, but God did not give me a spirit of fear.
Growing up is scary. My friends and I are reaching that point where we have to think into our futures before we make any decisions. Our lives are becoming more our own. We aren't completely dependent on the people around us anymore. We have to learn how to fight our own battles, figure out our weaknesses and work on them so that we are ready for this world, and learn how to face the adversity that will inevitably come our way because of our faith.
While thinking of all of this and freaking myself out and wondering if I'm ready to 'be a big girl', my Papaw gave me the only answer that could have given me peace at that moment... He began by quoting James 4:14: "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." He went on to remind me that God is not bound by time. As humans, time is all we know. We think of life as a series of moments and are always wondering what will be happening at this time or that time. As Christians, however, being in Christ frees us from time. What school we go to, what job we have, how little or much trouble we have on this earth... It just doesn't matter. All that should matter is that we are doing all of it for God and in the way that He wants us to!
Today I am choosing not to worry about what trials tomorrow might hold. I am simply choosing to accept the peace that comes with the knowledge that my life on this earth is temporary. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God, He has given me everything and I am going to spend my entire life doing everything I can to repay Him, even though I know that is impossible. Every day I am going to try my hardest to ignore the things that have brought me down or made me angry in the past. Because my life here is a vapor, I'm not going to sit back and let it go to waste. I don't know what tomorrow will hold, so I don't want to leave things unsaid. I don't want to spend my life angry or worrying. I am in God's hand, I am free from time, this is not my home, so why should it matter if things don't always go the way I want them to? Eternity is what I'm looking to, not tomorrow. Growing up is scary, but God did not give me a spirit of fear.
Awesome post, Aubrianah! The book the kids and I are reading through had something along those lines. A 17-year-old girl had passed away, and her father said this at the funeral. "On the day Brittany died it didn't matter what kind of clothes she wore. It didn't matter who her friends were. It didn't matter where she was going to college. It didn't matter what kind of car she drove or what kind of house she lived in. It didn't matter what kind of grades she made or how many goals she scored in soccer. The only thing that mattered was that she had her faith in Christ and she knew Jesus as her Lord and Savior."
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