Make it Amazing

     My heart is heavy tonight with thoughts about the victims of the shooting in Connecticut today. There are really no words... The thought makes me sick and breaks my heart each time. It has also gotten me thinking about time and how little of it we have. We are just a vapor in this world, here this minute, gone the next. We are never promised the next minute of our lives. Anything could happen, our life or the life of a loved one can be stolen in an instant. We spend so much time angry, bitter, sad, distracted, scared, or just plain lazy. I've been thinking about all of the things that I've put off doing for people or things I haven't said to them. How much time I've spent angry with someone, when it could be the last time I ever see them. I don't want to live like that.

     The parents of those twenty children had no idea that they would never speak to them again. I pray that all of them spent this morning not in anger, frustration, or a mad rush to get to school and work. I pray that they hugged their children and told them that they loved them one last time. I pray that they have strength and comfort in the days to come, though they will more than likely be the hardest that they have ever face. I pray that those of us who are safe will take this as a lesson. A lesson not to waste the time that we are given.

     This tragedy has really made me think about how I spend my time. I've been imagining all day, "What if something happened to him/her right now? What did I last say to them? Do they know how much I love them, how much I admire them?" I shouldn't have to wonder that! I don't like that I wondered that. There shouldn't be a question in if those that know me know that I love them. I want to make it so obvious to them that they are precious to me. If something were to happen to any one of my loved ones and I were even slightly angry with or rude to them the last time I got to see them, it would kill me.

     I've also been thinking, what if something happened to me? If I die tomorrow, I don't want to die angry, bitter, sad, distracted, scared, or lazy. If I'm going to die tomorrow, I want my last minutes spent happy, at peace, and I want to leave everyone in the knowledge of what they mean to me and how important they are. If tomorrow, something happens to me, I want to have the knowledge that everything is okay with those I'm leaving behind. I don't want there to be unanswered questions if I am called to leave this world behind.

     I don't want to waste the time that God has given me. We aren't promised tomorrow, we have to give today everything we have. I'm going to forgive those that hurt me, I'm going to love like God has loved me, as much as a human can. I want to be obnoxiously nice, I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to fear what I may leave behind if God decides to take me home, I want to make what I leave behind amazing.

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